Friendship

Friendship is one of the most important things in life, on so many different levels. If we look at society as a whole, forming friendships and being able to interact respectfully with those around you allows things to move smoothly, businesses to prosper, foreign relations to be built etc. People who feel a friendly rapport with their government (hard to fine these days!) are generally much happier then countries where mistrust and corruption are the flavours of the day. To back away from this and take a more personal look at things, humans need friends to feel they belong. There is a saying that friends are the family you get to choose, and this pretty much rings true. While your family will always be your base, it is your friends that you usually turn to to relax, share problems or flat out enjoy yourself. There is generally no one who can understand a woman better then her female friends. And because Islam is a way of life, and ones reason for living is to please God, friendship has huge importance in our religion, because the people you hang with will either raise your Iman up, or pull it right down.

To establish healthy friendships with good people is so essential, both on an emotional and spirtual level. While life is a struggle, being surrounded by positive people not only makes the journey easier, but more enjoyable too. As a teen, THE biggest influence on the life choices you make are your group of friends. The Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) said:

'A good and bad companion are like the bearer of musk and the one who pumps out filth respectively. As for the bearer of musk, s/he will either give you a share (ie you will smell perfumed air from him/her) or you will purchuse something beautiful from him/her. As for the one who pumps filth, s/he will either burn your clothes, or you will smell something filthy from him/her.' (Bukhari & Muslim)

Basically, if we surround ourselves by negative people, we'll bear the brunt of it, and vice versa. A true friend will want nothing but good for you. They will try keep both themselves and yourself away from harmful things, as well as things that are harmful to ones Deen. Loving your friend means caring more about where their soul is headed then simply having a good time and forgetting the Words of God.

'And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another, they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong.' (9:71)

Believers is the key word here...if you really believe in God, then protecting yourself and your family and friends from what is haram and harmful should be in your nature. It is hard to find a more valuable thing in life then a friend who is there for you, advises you and helps you with your troubles.

It is much easier to find oneself straying from Allah and doing more and more haram IF your group friends all do it too. Yet in the Qur'an we are warned of this; Allah knows His creation, and knows it is in human nature to do want things done as a group:

' And hold fast, all of you together, to the rope of Allah, and do not seperate.' (3:103)

Allah is commanding us here to keep faith together as a group; He knows we need human companionship and to feel we belong to something, to a bigger picture. No man is an island, no one should be expected to share the joys and sorrows of life alone.

While I've spoken quite a bit on how it is important to have friends who are strong in their Iman, there is much to be seen in both the Qur'an and the Sunnah on how one should treat ones friends. Islam is a religion of peace and love, and people should take a moment to remember this. The very greeting in Islam, Assalamu Alaikum means Peace be upon you! The Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) said:

'You shall not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not guide you to a thing which, when done, will make you love one another? Spread the greeting of Salam amoung you.' (Muslim)

This is huge! We are basically being told that unless we love another, we will never enter Paradise. To care about each other, and want the best for each other, is such a vital part of calling yourself a Muslim. This is such an easy thing to do, and amidst all the hardships of striving to be a good person, this is a beautiful thing to know, and it reminds us that Islam is not a hard religion; it fits very easily with the nature of Man. To look at things from a different angle, we can also interpret that this Hadith is reminding us of the importance of talking to one another. Depression, low self esteem, problems no one else is aware of etc may be eating away at someone close to you, and you'd never know unless lines of communications are open between you and your friends. Just talking about things lifts a huge weight from ones shoulders, and both Islamically and plain humanely we should try to always to be the person in a group a friend would have no trouble opening up to.

There are rights and duties we have over each other as humans. In this Hadith, the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) said:

'The right of a Muslim upon a Muslim is six. When asked what these were he replied:
1. When you meet, salute him/her (offer him/her your salam).
2. When s/he calls you, respond to him (eg if you are invited by a friend to go somewhere, go).
3. When s/he seeks advice, give advice.
4. When s/he sneezes and praises Allah, respond to him/her.
5. When s/he falls ill, visit him/her.
6. When s/he dies, follow him/ her (ie attend their funeral). (Muslim)

As you can see, your relationships should not be taken lightly! When you have a bond with another human, know the rights/duties you have over one another; it's not only in our religion, but common sense and respect also. Being a good friend, being supportive and having your friends' back is something Allah loves, and we should all strive to please Allah. Often the term Islam is a way of life is used and this is a good example of it; religion is not just the five prayers - pleasing and worshipping Allah comes into everything, even the things in our nature we take for granted.

Finally, the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) said:

'Whoever fullfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fullfill his needs. Whoever brought his brother out of discomfort, Allah will bring him out of the discomfort on the Day of Ressurection.' (Bukhari)

We may think nothing of helping a friend, but look at the huge reward!